Practicing self-awareness is more than just understanding how you feel on a
certain day. Self-awareness as the ability to identify not only your strengths
but your weaknesses as well. You may be prone to over gloss your weaknesses if
you have a lot of confidence, but if you
learn about your specific weaknesses, you
learn how to improve them.
Being self-aware is not about being
self-critical it is about recognizing the things that you do well in the areas
that you can improve upon. Understanding the things that may make you unique or
quirky is also important to become
self-aware. Don’t be embarrassed by your uniqueness just understand that it is
part of who you are.
Plan the Perfect You
An idea brought to us by Therapy Ideas for helping improve the
relationship we have with ourselves is to plan the perfect person that we want
to be. You want to write freely about who you would like to be. This writing
process should not be edited. Think as freely as you want about how you would
like to act, behave, work, think, look, and feel.
Then take small steps to ensure that
you can become the ideal you. Some of the thoughts on your “perfect you” list may be impossible, but others are quite attainable if you break them down
into small steps. Do you want to get a college education? The first step would
be enrolling in school. All of the things that you would like to do may be
attainable when you break them down into bite-size chunks.
For some reason, when we enter high-pressure, high-risk
situation our self-talk can be ruthless and critical. Understanding that this
can happen is essential to improving the relationship that we have with ourselves.
Psych Central encourages you to think deliberately and logically and use your
inner voice to speak kindly about your behaviors, beliefs, attributes, and
You would not let someone else speak
words of discouragement to you. You would stop them and correct them when they
were wrong. You should do the same to your own inner voice. No matter what
negative things come out of that spot in your head, you should consider critical thinking and listening skills to correct
Ditch the Cliff Dive Scenario
A Cliff dive scenario is a form of
cognitive distortion, and it’s when you
use terms such as always or never, nothing or everything. When you dive off the
cliff, you jump or don’t. This kind of
thinking can be toxic to your relationship with yourself because in life there
are usually hundreds of gray areas.
Avoiding thinking about alternatives or
different solutions to the problem can
make you feel insecure. Feeling insecure and stuck can make you anxious and
disappointed with yourself. If you notice your thinking regarding cliff diving scenarios, make sure you try to examine
different ways to get down from the cliff.
Can you walk? Can you repel? Is there a
ladder? While not every scenario is diving from the cliff, you can relate the gray areas to this idea when you present
yourself with all or nothing thinking.
Look on the Bright Side
Negative self-talk is one of the biggest reasons we have a poor relationship
with ourselves. Ditching negative self-talk
is going to be the easiest way to improve your relationship with yourself. Simple tweaks in
the language you use can drastically improve how you view yourself and the
world around you.
The Huffington Post highlights the perfect example on how to do this. Instead of saying “I’m so disorganized on never get
anything done” you should train yourself to say “I’m having a thought that I’m
not going to get it done.” Instead of saying “I am so stupid” you should try
saying “I had a moment where I did feel stupid.” These small changes
will drastically change how you view yourself.
6. Put Yourself First
Be your own best friend and biggest
champion, forever and always. There is no one else in the world that can take
better care of you than you can. This means that you must respect and address
your needs desires and boundaries. Self-care is the cornerstone of a healthy
relationship with self.
Now you have many tools to change a
relationship with yourself. Don’t overwhelm yourself start with one at a time
and soon you will know yourself better than anyone else in the world.